Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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