Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
