and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
