I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
