you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
