I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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