New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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