"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
