i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
