i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
