is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
