Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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