i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
