Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
