where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
