First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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