do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize