is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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