hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
