You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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