Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize