Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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