we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
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My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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