Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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