Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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