i don't like sucking hair
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
