apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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