Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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