so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
