Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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