xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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