That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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