I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
