Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize