Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
