I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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