member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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