so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
