took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh god it's open bar.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
