I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
