Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
worst night to have a conscience
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
