In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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