i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
