So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
