well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
