Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
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If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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