god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize