margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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