it's too hot outside to masturbate.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize