I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
