he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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