youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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