My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize