forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
